A Few Notes on Overthinking

Thinking is about ruminating over thoughts. It’s simply ruminating about various aspects of a thought whether that thought is real or a created scenario.

While thinking is something we cannot possibly remove from ourselves since it is a fundamental biological aspect of us as humans, we have seen the term “overthinking” being tossed all around.

The term however, is always seen in a negative light.

With the variety of commentary on overthinking, it has ironically been overthought.

A simple definition of overthinking: thinking over a thought more than it is necessary to do so.

This means to analyze every aspect of the thought, even ones that are meaningless or rather, the various possibilities that scenario could contain.

This often means thinking about the worst case possibility in our day-to-day scenarios.

Imagine a scenario of a job interview and ruminating over and stressing about your seating posture or the questions that are going to be asked on the previous night.

Both are generally considered overthinking.

Since the former doesn’t remotely make a significant difference in getting a job and the latter is a matter of circumstances and luck.

Both have nearly zero benefit to think over and hence is considered overthinking since we have thought more than what is necessary.

That being said, my glib lining on this subject is that, “Overthink the big things and underthink the small ones.”

This means to only truly overthink and check every possibility, even ones that might deem unnecessary since the stakes are so high that even a single digit or sometimes a decimal percentage might change everything.

However, underthinking and being lazy about your day-to-day life is far more optimal since not only does it remotely matter as much but also lets you focus on what truly matters.

Imagine stressing over the possibility of getting the wrong coffee when you told the waitress since two coffees in the menu sound similar.

Sure, that’s a bit unfortunate if it does occur but so what about it? That’s just life sometimes and this new drink might become your new favorite one.

Why is it bad?

Overthinking is not a mental health disorder by itself and is largely common but if it does occur often however, there is a chance that it is a side effect of a bigger issue at hand.

Overthinking is a response from an action. It’s a method to cope with uncertainty or low-esteem. It’s generally a problem of anxiety.

By overthinking, you use it as a way to alleviate the uncertainty surrounding your life.

It makes us feel as though we are doing something about the problem by overthinking tirelessly.

But it doesn’t lead anywhere since overthinking makes us simply analyze, reject and reconsider possibilities in a vicious loop.

That being said, overthinking does not sound wrong in theory. It is bad because we are not meant to be in a fight-or-flight response over everything.

Our ancestors only skillfully used their fight-or-flight responses for threats that actually mattered and could kill them and their bloodline.

Whether that’s scarcity of food, a predator or hostile humans, their response had purpose and thus, used sparingly but well.

But in modern society, we feel incredible stress over a morning routine and overthink that has no relation to our survival.

Sure, messing up the morning routine might mean a worse start of the day or perhaps skipping breakfast but it is no way life threatening.

But by overthinking constantly as a result and spiking our anxiety regularly has significant health consequences.

When you encounter such a threat (even if it’s minor), your HPA axis is stimulated which prepares your body for a fight-or-flight response.

These health consequences can include: nausea, muscle tension, sweating, disturbed digestion, immune system suppression and far more.

Ultimately, it’s a habit that’s cultivated to cope with the temporary relief you get from the uncertainty anxiety may bring in your life that is not the right answer to solve the problem.

There are far better tactics to deal with this.

Most helpful solution I’ve found

All the solutions overlap with being mindful of ourselves or rather, our mental state in relation to our thoughts.

After all, only when we are truly aware of ourselves can we change.

That being said, I am not talking about judging ourselves as being aware but simply to know that this occurs as it does as awareness.

The 4A’s of Stress Management

• Avoid

While it may seem obvious, don’t intentionally put yourself in difficult situations.

What doesn’t kill me does make me stronger is a nice mindset to have but it’s also important to realize that pursuing pain for its own sake makes no sense either.

Controlling everything in life is impossible but at the same time, our day-to-day lifestyle is largely the same so things can be changed very much.

If you hate driving, maybe drive while listening to music or a podcast.

If driving gives unreasonable amounts of anxiety then simply go for public transport instead.

If waking up to your baby crying every morning worsens your entire day overall then perhaps do everything you can to arrange your morning the perhaps night or try to wake up earlier to finish your morning routine.

• Alter

If for some reason, you cannot avoid the event from occurring then alter the constraints or rules of the event.

If a meeting is unavoidable this morning then perhaps ask to delay it by an hour or reduce the duration of the meeting to finish your current tasks.

If you need to wake up at 5 am every morning to get uninterrupted time to work but cannot do so then simply alter the constraints.

Instead try to wake up at 6am and gradually to 5am but in the meantime, allocate the one hour in the night or afternoon.

Changing constraints set by yourself or others is altering.

• Accept

If you come across a circumstance where avoiding or altering is not possible then try to accept it.

Accepting means to admit your true feelings or thoughts about it, not to pretend it’s all sunshines or rainbows.

Not only does accepting reduce your stress but also makes you more productive at the task.

Prepare yourself and deal with the situation accordingly and when you come out of it stressed, however, take rest accordingly.

Maybe call a friend or hobby of your choosing that relieves your stress.

Of course, sometimes both mental and physical body is tired so perhaps sleeping is the best option.

But nevertheless, forgive yourself since it is often not your mistake nor were you fully prepared for it.

Mistakes happen and that’s ok too.

• Adapt

Adapting is probably the deepest aspect of this stress management.

Adapting often means to change ourselves accordingly to the circumstances when deemed necessary.

For example, this can be to focus on the positive aspects of life rather than negative ones.

It can be about embracing optimism rather than pessimism.

Perhaps if you’re a perfectionist, it’s time to make reasonable compromises that do not ruin your health.

Maybe if there’s a fight you have every morning in your home, perhaps it’s time to drop it and have a constructive discussion about it later.

Being mindful of what you think and letting go of your thoughts which replay your grief is adapting as well.

Ultimately, you adapt by making compromises that are worth making.

All the 4A’s are more of a hierarchical structure of plan Bs. If one doesn’t work, try the other.

If avoiding does not work, try altering. If that doesn’t work either, try accepting the situation.

Ultimately, it’s about skillfully thinking about your circumstances and removing the clutter that doesn’t matter or making it so that it remains irrelevant.