Being Alone and Pleasures

Society tells us being alone is bad. It’s considered to be synonymous with laziness, carefree, introverted, useless and so on.

Being alone to many or rather by society is seen especially as something we were forced into, not something we actively chose.

I mean, who would want to be intentionally alone right? After all, having friends is fun. We can talk, joke, socialize and do a lot of fun activities together.

Compared to being alone by ourselves where we are silently doing one activity that no one really knows nor is involved in.

You read a book on crime in your leisure time from your bedroom and no one knows. Of course, you can create a reading group and read together but you get my point right?

Sure, we can extrapolate activities done alone into a group event but they are still largely alone.

After all, even in a reading group, you still spend the majority of your time reading and comprehending the book after which you socialize the remaining finite time.

Being alone is often seen as the last option in a multiple choice answer.

And to be fair, they are not wrong. The majority of people do feel that being alone is bad most of the time.

But this when your smart brain kicks in and tells me, “No, this isn’t being alone. It’s called being lonely!” you shout at me and continue, “There’s a difference between enjoying alone activities and not.”

You are not wrong. I agree completely. Being alone can be enjoyable. It’s just not perceived as so generally.

But what is my point exactly here? You are convinced and agree that there is discrimination between doing activities by yourself and some people do enjoy it while others don’t and that’s called being lonely.

But here’s another interesting thought: most of our work is done by ourselves, that means most of our productive work is done in our own company - alone.

Of course, books like Deep Work enhance this argument even more with its emphasis on quality work, attention span, limited cognitive resources and so on.

So ironically enough, we don’t call out being alone if it’s done regarding work but we do if it’s for leisure? Why so?

The answer to that is already answered before: since it is considered the most boring option.

But beyond these hypocrisies we find, I was thinking about the other day if it is possible to truly enjoy alone time all the time.

I mean, think about it. If we do agree and admit that alone time is pleasurable compared to its alternative - being lonely then what is stopping us from being alone all the time?

So since that’s the case, let us think about its benefits.

Making your case

If you could theoretically experience as much pleasure or even more than in a group then being alone is just efficient and effective.

After all, there are no middlemen involved, you don’t have to argue with people nor work hard to improve your communication skills.

You don’t have to even get out of your house. As a result, you can fully focus on optimizing and maximizing your pleasures.

Whether that's a relatively old form such as books, poems, drawings or a new form like video games, social media or perhaps both is your wish.

Regardless, based on your interests, you end up choosing the pleasures you are most comfortable with and let’s say you do find an infinite amount of good quality content in it.

That means an unlimited amount of The Dark Knight-level movies for example.

(I know that’s unrealistic but this abstract question is unrealistic as well but we are trying to find an answer here.)

So in such a case, can there be a truly compelling reason to meet with others anymore?

The only case that violates this is if we are meant to socialize from an evolutionary perspective and thus, this entire line of questioning is false from the beginning.

But there are also people who seem rather good or at least normal with a similar life.

Nonetheless, my question to you is, would you be okay with such a life?

A life where you can optimize pleasures and experience it the fullest but the cost of socialization.

Will such a life embrace ethical consequences as well such as disconnectivity to humanity and as a result, desensitize empathy?

Food for thought.

PS: If you have liked this then this blog on boredomwill be a nice read.